This blog will probably go backwards but you'll eventually get what's going on, if you continue to follow me .. Hopefully. So, two days ago, my now ex boyfriend went up to his child's mothers house, his ex, to help out with his son while she works some late night hours (oh, she just broke up with her boyfriend of a few years). Who knows the actual reason why he went up there, it could be a few.
Let me start by explaining my ex's ex GF... They went out for about 5 years and they had a beautiful boy together. They broke up because of his drug addiction. Now, me and my ex have been together for over a year and yes, everything went so fast In this relationship. I grew so close to his son and loved and treated him as my own son. Meanwhile, I also grew close to my ex's mother, we talk at least every other day. Also, during half of the relationship, he started using drugs and got really hooked on snorting heroin. I tried to get him help and support him.. But all of my tryings turned into rejections.
As my ex got worse and worse on drugs (every once in a while, he would try to stop and take Suboxones.. But knew he would never stop them. On and off he got high.
I grew closer to his son and bought him everything he needed, including food, clothes, medicine, toys, etc. I would treat him as if he were my own son (he's currently 4 yrs old.. We met met when he was three). There's no doubt in my mind that I loved this child and would definitely die for him if needed. He loves me also.. Telling his friends and family that I'm his "girlfriend"! He so sweet and intelligent and funny.. I could go on and on about him. But, I will eventually get to the point I'm trying to make. The last few weeks of our relationship, while my ex's son and I were both at my ex's moms house, his heroin habit seemed to be getting worse and worse and out of control.. I eventually started sleeping on the couch instead of in bed with him. (this was only a few weeks ago).
So, back to my ex's ex... He would always tell me how much of a bitch she is and blah blah blah... He would always rant and rave about her and how deceitful she is... I knew in the back of my head that I was always his second choice, that he was still in love with his ex, his sons mother. My ex would always tell me that I'm crazy but I knew I wasn't.. (And, of course, love blinds all so I didn't want to leave.. I wanted to stick it out). I mean there were times when he was high and I literally caught him texting her inappropriate things ("inside jokes"), for being in a committed relationship. (Oh, he also lived with me a few months after the start of our relationship). I just KNEW that I would always be second choice. (I'll get into more details as I write more in my blog so you can understand the full story)
Anyway, my ex is up there at her house (3 hours away) to help take care of his son. I knew something was going to happen between him and his ex, or it was talked about or it had already happened. Of course, king of all liars told me NO, that he was only there to help out with his son, especially since his son missed his father so much.
Deep down in my gut, I knew something was going on. His ex texted me something like "I'm sorry and never wanted to hurt you".... So, naturally, I asked her woman to woman, what was the honest truth and what was actually going on up there. Come to find out, my ex and her had been talking about "trying their relationship again bc they weren't fooling anybody by saying they were over each other"... FOR A MONTH!!! Always trust your gut instinct!!
So, from falling in love so quickly and out relationship going pretty fast, and my ex telling me that we would get married and his son was my stepson now (which hurts the most), it's kind of hard to deal with what's going on right now. I know there's a bunch of lies circulating around but no one wants to be a man/woman and tell me. "I'd rather be hurt by the honest truth than the best dressed lie"
Now, it's more of me crying throughout the day.. Real tears and real heartache... And I just need to remove myself from the situation.. If only there was a magic wand or trick to getting over a break-up.
There will be more details in other entries. This is just what's happening right now and I feel the need to get it out, of of my chest.
Many of my stories aren't going to be delightful.. It's life kicking me in the ass! There's also a lot of run on sentences and sentences/paragraphs that seem to not make any sense... Well, that's just me.
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